The Clauses’ Mediterranean Vacation
On Christmas Eve all the little helpless, vulnerable children were making their wish list. Well….all except Jackie Paper. Jackie thought “Why should everybody ask Santa for a gift? Maybe I can give him a gift this year. I should ask him to take vacation to a place that he likes the most”. Jackie also convinced his neighbors to ask Santa for the same thing.
In his block Jackie convinced 52 children to ask Santa to go on vacation. Some kids had suggested some places that they thought Santa would enjoy. But other kids had left $30 near the milk and cookies to help fund his vacation. Jackie also wanted to request Santa in person and decided to stay awake. But little Jackie could not keep his eyes open another second after 11:59:59 pm. He missed Santa by few somewhere near a minute, because Santa always came at 12:01:29 am.
When Santa saw all those little children’s request, he was overwhelmed by the affection because, every generation before this, the children just participated in Christmas for the presents. He thought to himself, “Ho-Ho-Ho. These younger generations have changed. These younger generations have changed. Later he finished distributing the presents. Santa also brought home all the milk, cookies and presents that were left for him by the children.
Couple of hours later Santa was back at his home in the North Pole. He told Mrs. Clause and the reindeer about the affectionate notes that the children had left for him. Mrs. Clause and the reindeer were also pretty surprised because, Santa had never gotten notes this affectionate before. Mrs. and Mr. Clause decided to give it a thought.
The next morning a booming voice from inside the mansion said, “pack your bags, we are going to the Mediterranean”. All the reindeer got very excited and started to pack their bags with everything they might need. When the reindeer asked Santa when the trip was, Santa said they were leaving in two days. Reindeer started getting really, really excited and started dancing around.
The day of leaving arrived. All the reindeer double-checked their bags to make sure they have the necessary items. While Santa was getting his special ear medication, all the reindeer loaded their bags in the stretch-limousine’s trunk. In the airport they retrieved the bags and followed Santa. When Santa looked back he saw them following him and Mrs.Clause, with baggage, to the check-in counter. He looked back and asked loudly “why are you following me. Did I ever say you reindeer are coming with me? I need someone to take care of the mansion”.
The reindeer couldn’t believe what they were hearing. It had never occurred to them that Santa only meant him and Mrs. Clause. All of them were at the verge of having an emotional breakdown. The reindeer got so frustrated they started randomly blaming and kicking each other in a very clumsy manner. Immediately Santa realized the misunderstanding and promised them that right after Mrs. & Mr. Clause returned from the Mediterranean they would give all the reindeer a special coupon for an all day reindeer spa. This calmed the reindeer down and they stopped blaming each other. Santa used this point of time when the reindeer were calm to his advantage. He said, “hey Prancer, you are the leader. Rudolf, you are the second in command if something happens to Prancer”. He also stated that Rudolf would choose the third in command and the third in command would choose the fourth in command etc.. “Bye Bye” Santa said in his loud, bellowing voice. Santa said it so loud that everyone in the airport said it back to him.
Santa had left a list of phone numbers and his address in case of emergency. One day later Santa called and told them that he had reached on time and was having a nice time in his private island. His island in Mediterranean had everything one could imagine of. The reindeer were desperate to hear more about it.
So, Santa sent a bunch of pictures to Prancer via. Internet. Prancer called a meeting of all the reindeer to tell them about Santa’s private island. In the evening, all the reindeer assembled and Prancer described the island using a Power Point presentation. Prancer began “ Santa’s island, named ‘The Land of Reindeer’ is located in Mediterranean at latitude 30 degree North and longitude 40 degree South”. After hearing the name all the reindeer started whooping. Prancer waited for the whooping to stop and then continued. “It has everything we could dream of. To start with, it has a theatre, casino, food court, indoor swimming pools and a nice view of the ocean from anywhere you stand. That is were some of the elves are staying because they like the warmer climate better. Santa’s cruise ship is also there, in that island ” finished Prancer.
“ Any questions?” asked Prancer. One of the reindeer asked, “Can we go there?” “No, because we have to take care of the mansion” said Prancer. After all of them ate dinner, it was Rudolf’s turn to do the dishes. Rudolf was complaining while doing the dishes, “why do I have to do it after cleaning the kitchen this morning.” A few hours later after watching a Star Wars movie then went to bed. All twelve of them slept in the same room.
In the morning when Prancer and Rudolf woke up, they saw rest of the reindeer sleeping. All of them looked very tired. Both of them thought that the rest of reindeer were tired because all of them except Prancer and Rudolf were up later watching “Cars”. After having pancakes with maple syrup and butter for breakfast they decided to go on the treadmill. About 12pm Prancer got suspicious about why the other reindeer were still sleeping. He shook them and tried to wake them up but he couldn’t. Prancer got really worried and called the doctor.
In an hour the doctor finally reached and immediately got to the bedroom. Rudolf noticed that the doctor’s face turning different. Rudolf nudged Prancer to notice doctor’s face. A few minutes later the doctor said “did they eat anything odd or unusual last night?”. “No” answered Prancer. Prancer continued, “All of us had Mexican burritos and tacos”. Rudolf suddenly raised his voice and said “hey, why do all of them have a hole like thing near their neck about 1cm deep?”. The doctor examined one of reindeer and noticed that there were few almost microscopic dots of liquid around the hole. The doctor took out couple of glass tubes from his bag. He collected few samples of the microscopic drops and tissue around the injury. The doctor, walking towards the door, said “let me get to my lab right now to test these samples. I will get back to you by tomorrow. Till then, keep a close watch and give them liquid food even if they are half asleep”.
Prancer and Rudolf passed the rest of the day thinking whether they should inform Santa about this sudden unfortunate event. They debated for a couple of hours and finally decided that they should call Santa. They called Santa on the number that Santa had left on the refrigerator. In the first two attempts they got the message “Ho!Ho!Ho! You have reached Santa’s cell phone. I know where you live and whether you are good or bad. Please call again”. Third attempt was successful and Santa picked up the phone. Rudolf was tensed but Prancer was calm. Prancer explained in detail all that happened.
Santa used to do yoga, so he was calm. He listened to Prancer very attentively and said, “OK. I will activate the security system right now. As soon as you hear from the doctor, call me again no matter what time it is”. It seemed like a never-ending evening and night for Prancer and Rudolf. In the morning they got up and were eagerly waiting for the doctor’s call. About 11am the doctor called and said, “I am sorry but your brothers have been paralyzed.” Prancer and Rudolf got so annoyed they broke a vase. They immediately called Santa and informed what the doctor. Santa growled and said, “I think it is the cunning act of Azula. She is one of the most dangerous criminals. Based on your description of the wound and liquid it is paralysis dart. This particular type of dart is called Dart 007 and can only be found in the Ice Pick Club. I think I have paralysis cure ointment in my medicine closet in the blue room. Good luck”.
Prancer and Rudolf immediately leaped to the medicine closet in the blue room, got the ointment and applied it on the wounds. Like magic all the reindeer went “huh…huh…huh” and stood up. Rudolf said, “You have been paralyzed for a day. And we know who did it to you…Azula the rough woman”. All of them immediately went to the sleigh/weapon garage, picked up a sleigh that was fast and could hold a dozen reindeer and picked up weapons that may be necessary, like a plasma canon, a few smoke bombs and many baseball bats.
They reached the Ice Pick Club in about two hours. Prancer stuck his head in the entry hole and a security guy asked for the password. He slammed the door open and sent the security guy flying. All the reindeer went in single file. Ice Pick Club is known for its members with criminal background. Once such member was watching the security guy getting thrown said “this means war!!”. In all of two minutes every single Ice Pick Club member, except Azula, who were in the Club at that time was either moaning on the ground or lying down unconscious. During the rumble Prancer saw Azula escape into a room. Rudolf caught a criminal named Joe Bazooka (he got the name Bazooka because he was selling Bazookas). Prancer and Rudolph forced Joe to reveal where Azula was headed. He said, “Azula is headed to the Mediterranean. Please don’t hurt me”.
Prancer and Rudolf threw Joe on the ground, and immediately took off with all the reindeer. They called Santa and told him about Azula coming his way, to the Mediterranean. Santa beefed up his security by getting troops of elves stand around his island. Since elves could clone themselves at will, within minutes the island protected with elves holding super forceful Bebe guns. To Rudolf, Santa said “get over here ASAP, all of you”.
Santa’s control tower spotted a flying object coming near his island. He thought it was Azula and instructed elves to guard the runway. In a few minute the sleigh that looked like an aircraft landed, the doors hissed open, all the elves cocked their gun and aimed. When the door opened, to everyone’s surprise 12 reindeers came out. Santa greeted all the reindeer warmly and let them guard the runaway so that elves could guard the airspace on hovercraft that could hover up to 152 ft. In a few minutes another jet was spotted. The elves cocked their guns and fired at will. The wings of the aircraft got dented. The aircraft was going in for crash landing. About 20ft from the shoreline the aircraft plunged into the ocean. The plane floated back up and Azula came out. She was armed with a flamethrower. She swam ashore, with the flamethrower, hurdled over all the elves, held the flamethrower up to Santa’s head and screamed in her commanding, spine chilling voice, “one false move from any of you and Santa won’t be around for next Christmas”.
Azula had forgotten about the reindeer, as she didn’t expect them to reach before her. Behind her she thought she heard footsteps. Azula turned around carelessly for a second or two. Santa used this opportunity to trip her to the ground. He snatched the flamethrower and held it at her head. Santa didn’t want to kill her but make her suffer the consequences. Azula tried to kick Santa but before she did everyone heard a “ vshhhhhhhooom” sound. Next thing they saw was Azula falling for the last time.
Santa, in a gleeful mood, shouted “Ho!Ho!Ho! Azula is gone for good. Since I am so happy I am going to take all of you to Vegas. Now for the second time in less than two days the reindeer fell down paralyzed. But this they didn’t need cure because they were paralyzed by happiness!!
One year later Santa received several letters from children to go on a cruise. This time he didn’t want to take any risk by leaving reindeer alone. So wrote back to Jackie Paper requesting him to stay in Santa’s mansion and take care the reindeer.