At this rate...

... I will swear off this country's prospects for development. I have been behind Whirlpool for a week now and everyday, the customer care centre assures me that a technician will come to fix my problem. Btw, my 'problem' is that my brand new refrigerator came with a broken ice tray, and rather dusty interiors. And I'm still running behind their really pathetic service set up to get at least the tray replaced.

In the meantime, DTDC has managed to lose some of the stuff my mother couriered - they seem pretty confused about how many items they've lost. They charge as much as a plane ticket to my hometown, and don't even bother calling up to say they are delayed. Its been 5 days post their 3-day delivery schedule and I don't even know if they are going to deliver my stuff this year or the next. No wonder my green-card-holding-US-relatives complain about living standards in India!

Moving again

Three houses at Andheri, a couple of months at Colaba and now I have landed up at Wadala. That makes it the fifth house in 4 years, and 11 moves over 12 years. If anyone tells me I have to move again in a hurry, I solemnly swear that I shall scream.

Btw, did I tell you that service quality in India s$#%s BIG TIME? For example,

(See missed call on the phone from Whirlpool customer care and call back)

Disembodied Voice (DV): Hello, Whirpool service centre.
Me: Hi, I'm calling from (number), I received a call from your centre.
DV: May I know who I'm talking to?
(Couple of exchanges while I give him my name and explain that I have lodged a complaint for my fridge and washing machine. Could he please send someone over on Saturday/Sunday because I'm working during the week?)

DV: Yes ma'm, you wanted an ice tray.
Me: No, I don't want an ice tray. The one in my brand new fridge came broken and you have to replace it.
DV: Yes ma'm, you have lodged a complaint.
Me: Yes, I know that. Could you please tell me why your service centre was trying to reach me?
DV: Yes ma'm, you wanted an ice tray.
Me: Of course I did. But why did you call me?
DV: You lodged a complaint.
Me: Yes, so what about it?
DV: Do you want an ice tray?
Me: Yes, I do. Are you planning to give me one?
DV: Yes ma'm.
Me: ????
DV: Will you be at home at 5 p.m.?
Me: I just told you I want someone sent over on Saturday/ Sunday.
DV: Can I send someone over tomorrow?
Me: ??????????
DV: Will tomorrow be ok for you, ma'm?
Me: No, Saturday, Sunday!
DV: Ok ma'm, we will call you.
(Hangs up)

You dont want to know what happened with Haier!

Space

Ever been in between a rock and a hard place? Then you know what I'm talking about. Its pretty frustrating if you have to wait for life to play out before you know how it will touch you. Which is why some people shy away from anything that would bind them, restrict them from being free to plan their little lives in their own little ways. While I try to breathe, read T.S. Elliot:

The broad backed hippopotamus
Rests on his belly in the mud;
Although he seems so firm to us
He is merely flesh and blood.

Flesh and blood is weak and frail,
Susceptible to nervous shock;
While the True Church can never fail
For it is based upon a rock.

The hippo’s feeble steps may err
In compassing material ends,
While the True Church need never stir
To gather in its dividends.

The ’potamus can never reach
The mango on the mango-tree;
But fruits of pomegranate and peach
Refresh the Church from over sea.

At mating time the hippo’s voice
Betrays inflexions hoarse and odd,
But every week we hear rejoice
The Church, at being one with God.

The hippopotamus’s day
Is passed in sleep; at night he hunts;
God works in a mysterious way—
The Church can sleep and feed at once.

I saw the ’potamus take wing
Ascending from the damp savannas,
And quiring angels round him sing
The praise of God, in loud hosannas.

Blood of the Lamb shall wash him clean
And him shall heavenly arms enfold,
Among the saints he shall be seen
Performing on a harp of gold.

He shall be washed as white as snow,
By all the martyr’d virgins kist,
While the True Church remains below
Wrapt in the old miasmal mist.

Katee Sakhoff kicks ass...

... as the evil Bionic Woman (Star World, marathons over the weekend). I loved her as Starbuck, but she is even better here. The good Bionic Woman (Michelle Ryan) is vapid in comparison to Katee's awesome Number Six-inspired take on the character. The show has been canceled after the first season, presumably because the title character is so damn boring! How about a new show with Katee's Bionic Woman as the lead?

Sky high

If you don't have a damn good health care plan, I'd recommend you get one today! For if you don't, you might find yourself and your family being bled dry by some big hospital someday. Hospitals like Jaslok, for instance. This place is outrageous- in addition to whatever they charge patients (its a South Bombay hospital, take a wild guess!), they even charge visitors a visiting fee! I have never seen anything like it before, and hope that I never do. Went back home planning upgrades to my current health care plan!

I am numb

That's all.

Downsides

The primary downside to married life is that the number of variables in the equation increase dramatically. For someone who likes to be in charge/control of his/her own life, this can be very unsettling! On that note, hand me a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the recipe of which is given under:

• Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol' Janx Spirit, it says.
• Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V - Oh, that Santraginean sea water, it says. Oh those Santraginean fish!!!
• Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzene is lost).
• Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it (in memory of all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia).
• Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones; subtle, sweet, and mystic.
• Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian suns deep into the heart of the drink.
• Sprinkle Zamphour.
• Add an olive.
• Drink... but... very carefully...

- From The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.